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I Don't Care If I Forget Today

by Jungheim

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1.
Swimming in a sea of options Trying hard to not drown in the open waters I’ll try harder next year Filling up the room with questions Find myself a speaker without words to offer I’ll do the best I can It’s like the weight of this Is killing me or something I couldn’t do this all alone I think I’m falling out I’ve considered nothing Can someone throw the dog a bone? Throw the dog a bone Messing with procrastination Turning off my wisdom until further notice Haven’t noticed a thing Screwing with my serotonin It’s not like I’m using it for that much longer I’m stuck on a prayer It’s like the weight of this Is killing me or something I couldn’t do this all alone I think I’m falling out I’ve considered nothing Can someone throw the dog a bone? Throw the dog a bone
2.
Fix your teeth before you put your shirt on Fix your shirt before you drive to school Fill the gas up at the station Turn around and say "I think you deserve better wasted opportunities lead your head right to the gutter I am very sorry Hope i'm not intruding you I just believe there's more to you than this life" Fix your hair and pull out of the alley Fix your mirror to look into your eyes Listen closely to your heartbeat Will it go away? I think I deserve better wasted opportunities lead my head right to the gutter Everybody's sorry Hope i'm not thinking too deep I just believe there's more to me than this life In between the pages I don't know what happens there Why am I confused at nothing? Pick a different shirt to wear A different shade of lipstick on my face I guess the contemplation was a waste 'cause nothing's ever changed I'm holding on for a limited time like a toy, suck the joy out of my eyes Do you think you're getting better or have you delayed it getting worse?
3.
I take my dog for a walk To feel some normalcy It makes things easier Like life’s worth living I facetime my honey And ask them how they’re doing And then we laugh for hours It really keeps me going I don’t know what will happen a year from now But it’s just fine, I’ll figure it out I’ll hold myself in the meantime And have a sense of peace of mind I dance to Tegan and Sara until there’s sweat in my hair just to make sure my mind is there I close my eyes in the shower and pretend i’m in a waterfall I’ve forgotten the weight of it all I’m not that afraid anymore I’ll see you in the morning I hope you find the time to Hold yourself like I do Hold yourself like I do

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released May 1, 2020

Cover art by Jakoby West

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Jungheim Chicago, Illinois

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